is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Screwed.edu
Is it because I queefed?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
