I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize