I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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