Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
