Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
