No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
