Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
tell me about the eggs
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