problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
