oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
