I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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