You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
