What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
