Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
