Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize