Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
