we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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