i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize