New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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