your parents love me but you hate me
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
