i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
