I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize