How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
