I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
