White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
