i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
