you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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