I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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