I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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