Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
