If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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