sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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