he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
