I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He kissed a someone with a penis
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
