I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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