Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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