I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
