no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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