I can text with my tongue
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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