Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
