we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
