I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
