So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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