I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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