i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Farmville is her only friend.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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