I need help removing her.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
