Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
