If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
