And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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