can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just want nice things and good sex
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
