You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize