i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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