i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
