you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
