does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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