trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
