One girl and one boy is just not enough.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
