There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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